Just one of those Days

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It’s one of those days.

The future seems already almost too clear, too frightening, too soon to tell.

We’re all growing up too fast.

Day after day, here I sit in front of my computer, questioning what is it I have in store for me in the future?

After high school? After college? After 10 years? 20? 30?

I don’t know.

It’s one of those days.

Where I would continue to feel nervous and scared from time to time, thoughts would begin to go through my head, reminding me of where and what my position is right now.

Will I even have a chance to go to my college of choice? Will I even pass my math class? Am I able to raise my biology grade up? Am I ready for the AP exams?

I don’t know.

It’s one of those days.

The sky is the limit, they say. But I feel as if the ceiling of my very room is the limit.

Take a deep breath, they say. But I feel as if the piles of books and papers are the ones preventing air from entering my lungs.

You’ll be fine, they say. But I feel like giving up every time I get the failed grades I received from yesterday’s test.

Why do I keep on trying when I know there’s no way I was ever going to reach it? How is it that the majority of people get it but I don’t, no matter how hard I tried? What’s the point of me being here?

I don’t know.

It’s just one of those days.

I’m growing up too fast. I’m scared. I’m really scared.

My mind would go back to the time when I was in class and I would complain about the homework assigned, which would only be a few and now I have too many to handle.

My mind would go back to the time when I used to smile and laugh a lot, have free time, hang out with my friends, and actually pass classes.

I…

It’s just one of those days.

 

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