In the Eyes of Myself

As we grow older, the closer the world of adulthood seems to be getting. Each step at a time, each hour pass, day, months, then years, it’s no wonder there’s a huge difference between how a junior in high school sees the world and a freshman’s point of view.

I have a younger sister who goes to the same high school as me and she’s a freshman, first year in high school. She already has her path set: pass her classes, get good grades, while managing to balance that with youtube videos, Netflix, and her passion for drawing. I remember being in the car, sitting in the back of our family van, and on our way to the movies to see Doctor Strange (phenomenon movie by the way. A fantastic job!).

She was in front of the van as usual and listening to her music and our mom was the one driving us. During the week of thinking and managing the possibilities, I learned that I leaned more toward a medical path rather than politics. No, not because it’s a hectic, utter chaos out there in that world of government, traveling the world as an ambassador, or what, but because it wasn’t the area I had particular familiarity in nor interest. On top of that, I was planning already on taking AP Physiology next year as a senior.

So I brought up a question. I asked my mom, who was an RN (registered nurse), a common medical question. “Mom, what do you call a person who’s present during a woman’s giving birth event but you’re not exactly the midwife? Just the person helping out?” And she answered, “Oh that’s OB/Gyn.” And immediately, that struck me because I had been watching youtubers StrivetoFit and janeandjady and they were actually tackling down the schedule of OB/Gyn as medical students. So I was ecstatic for some odd reason and had told my mom that was what I was going to do.

Now, back to my younger sister, she then told my mom that she’ll be majoring in something relating to arts since it had been passion and dedication to draw and draw rather than involve herself in anything with academic defined on the name (as in math, English, science, and history). But, that’s when my mom just laid it down on her. Literally.

“Become an accountant. Art is not going to pay your mortgage. It is a hobby.” Now, my sister, she doesn’t believe that. Obviously, it’s like your parent telling you “No you can’t do that. You’re not allowed.” And you won’t back down without a fight. It was that exact situation. She was infuriated. She wanted to be an artist and possibly go down the field and find a possible career for her to land within the arts. But my mom disagrees. She said that my sister can have it as a hobby but not as a career. She even said to become an engineer since it has somewhat something to do with art (how I thought of it was the drawing of the buildings and being able to bring that creation to life with steel). Yet, my sister doesn’t see that at all. My sister continued to insist that she would be an artist, defying our mother’s wishes. Finally, my mom asked, “Then what do you want to be since I don’t want you to major in arts?” My sister looked at her, in sudden defeat and raised her tone. “Well, I don’t know. I’m only a freshman!”

It’s so strange watching this from the backseat of the van as it played out because when I was a freshman, I too did not have any idea what I was going to do in the future. Probably I had the idea of it, which was to do journalism and major somewhere in English. On the other hand, when I was a middle school student, I had the aspirations to become either a neurosurgeon or a cardiovascular surgeon. It was funny I think for me because it reminded me, looking back now, of how young I was. How my thoughts of what to do in the future in college were so expanded and unlimited. Some weren’t even parent approved. For example, I remember signing up to audition for a KPOP entertainment scheduled in LA for SM Entertainment, one of the 3 most popular and internationally known Korean entertainment company. And my mom found out about it and she told me that becoming a singer will not get me anywhere in life.

And it’s just so strange that watching my sister fight for her dream as a freshman reminded me so much of when I was young. I had ideas for colleges, though, but she didn’t. Just hearing her answers brought a smile on my face. That was me when I was a freshman. I hadn’t realized that my views of the world then were so different from now as a junior. College recommendations will start to pile up soon, and I have yet to take the SAT exam because I know it will also define where my position is right now in life and if I’m on the right track towards my college along with my GPA.

However, my sister? She’s yet to reach this path I’m on right now. I agree with my mom. One day, my sister’s passion for the drawing will soon come to light that it will only be a strong hobby of hers in the future. And that she will have to pick something else soon to major in college. And I understand that she’s only in a freshman. I wasn’t in the rush at the time anyways. But I know for sure that she’s not stubborn, not stupid or anything, I know she doesn’t have a track right now, which is alright. Later on, she’ll see it and look back, I’m sure she’ll be reminded of herself as she sees our youngest sister of two complain to my mom about the same exact thing.

Oh, how I’ve grown.

(set featured image taken by me)

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